something that can never be

some days i want to lash out at you and tell you how much you've hurt me. i want to rage and be angry. i want to tell you how sad i am. my heart hurts for all those things that i'll never have with you. i want to keep all of those amazing, happy memories intact. i don't want to look back in regret. i need to let go. i need to move on. i need to start new. i love you, but i can't do this anymore. i can't keep holding on to something that can never be.

we almost...

antihistamines and soft music

welp, it didn't take long for the insomnia fairy to catch up with me. i guess it took a couple of weeks to acclimate to the time difference. usually antihistamines and soft music are my friend, but apparently only for a few hours tonight/this morning.

like i've said, i'm not sure how long i'll be here so i've started the whole sending out of resumes business. i hate looking for a job, but on the upside, i have a job interview on friday morning. it sounds promising. cross your fingers!

in other news: i get the best phone calls! you know, the kind where sexy musicians play beautiful music on the piano for me. i've heard him on the bass so many times, but on the piano, he's amazing!
he's the one i miss the most.

sigh.

oh heart, do shut up!

new adventures

hey kids! i'm back.

i've had some growing up to do, i suppose.

i've had some heart break to put behind me as well.

because of family obligations, i'm in california. i'm not sure for how long. while i am here, i am HERE. maybe this is a new start on a new life or it could be just a fresh perspective on the life that i so long ago left behind. i guess we'll just have to wait and see.

cheers to new adventures!