be gone black cloud!

one of my girls said this when i asked her how she was doing this morning and i thought is was so funny that i had to tweet it:

"i'm plotting murder and trying to figure out how to go lesbo without having to lick anything gross."

yes, my dear friends give me much fodder.

ok, so here's the thing...

i'm seeing way too much negativity and frustration pop up in my life recently. while i know where some of it stems from, i don't know where all of it stems from. and it's making me a little bit nuts! part of it is that it doesn't really have anything to do with me, just the people around me. i'm trying not to get caught up, but people still try to involve me in things that are none of my business.

anyway, so here i am.

what it all comes down to is that i made a commitment to myself to do better and be better. i love and i want to be loved back. i want people to see that, not just through my writing or my facebook posts, but also through my words and actions.
i see some friendships take not just a negative turn, but they are starting to have a toxic effect on my most important relationships, like a black cloud hanging over me. and i just can't have it! i won't have it! i will not let other people ruin the progress that i have made in my life. period.
some people are not going to like it, but i have to do what is best for me and my sanity.

plus, there's that whole thing where i want to just be happy. there are so many things going right in my life. and i want to be able to enjoy that.