just SMACK!

i see this as an opportunity, this life of mine...

i feel good. gah! i feel so good! i have so many things to be happy for. i have so many blessing to be thankful for. i know that i write so much about the conflicts within myself, but in reality, that's all they are conflicts WITHIN.
some things in my life i can't control. i just can't. but i know that i need to quit focusing on those things. i have a tendency toward dark moods based on what's going on around me. i don't want that. i have to stop that.

sunday morning i hit a wall, just SMACK! right into it. i came to the realization that, all these things that i get caught up in are not important. i'm not here to please anyone else but my loved ones. i want to be a blessing and never a hindrance to anyone. so what am i doing?!

i AM too nice. i know this. people tell me this all the time. i try to help people who don't want to be helped, people who want nothing more than to take advantage of my kindness, people who take and take and take and never give back. i need to work on that...

co and i have a mutual friend that we both just adore, in an 'i love my brother' kind of way. he made an observation the other day and i just have to share it because it holds a great analogy.

"so i saw something pretty cool. a bird got hurt and fell in the backyard. we have 3 bird dogs, so of course they went after it. out of nowhere, like 30 birds came flying in around the fallen bird to protect it. which gave me enough time to save it and get it out of the yard.
... must be nice to know you got friends like that!"

i just loved this so much! THIS is what i want! THIS is the kind of friend i want to be and THIS is the kind of friends i want to surround myself with... i want to go through life uplifting people and loving and sharing!