Friday, September 20, 2013

how much you don't

do you ever wonder if you've ever truly been IN LOVE? i do.

i wonder about what it really is. is it real? or is it a figment of our imaginations? is it the same for everyone? is it something you just now? what if what one person thinks they feel is down the road and a left turn from what another thinks they feel? is being IN LOVE with someone just a chemical reaction in our brains? or is it something more?

i can speculate, but i don't really know if anyone has ever felt about me the way i have felt about the one person that i can't forget. how do you know?
i never could understand how one person can just pick up and throw away all the time and effort that they have invested in another. there is so much conflict involved.

i don't think any of this makes sense at the moment. these are just things in my head.

i've had one of those days today that i didn't realize how sideways things were until my eyes started burning from all of the tears i'd cried. i don't even know how i would tell you about it all or where i would start.

my heart aches in so many ways and i'm pulled in so many directions that i'm honestly surprised that i haven't completely broken yet.

it's a weird feeling to realize how much you don't mean to so many people.

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